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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736447">Persona Incorrect Quotes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenBuns1/pseuds/KittenBuns1'>KittenBuns1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(still not over that), Akechi Goro Lives, Aragaki Shinjiro Lives, Comedy, Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Goro hates Makoto and Haru (and vice versa), M/M, No beta we die like Yosuke's romance route, There's probably spoilers., What am I doing?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:48:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenBuns1/pseuds/KittenBuns1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Incorrect quotes because why not. Also, spoilers for P5 / Royal, P4 / Golden, and P3P.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amagi Yukiko/Satonaka Chie, Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Aragaki Shinjiro/Sanada Akihiko, Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Iori Junpei/Yoshino Chidori, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji, Shirogane Naoto/Tatsumi Kanji, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Quotes I Made With a Generator</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. This is one of those times.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Junpei: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?<br/>
Chidori: I never had one.<br/>
Junpei: An imagination or a childhood?</p><p>-</p><p>Chie to Yosuke: I dare you to-<br/>
Yu: Yosuke isn't allowed to take dares.<br/>
Yosuke: Apparently, I have "no regard for my personal safety."</p><p>-</p><p>Ryuji: You’re a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You’re not the person I married!<br/>
Ren: Fine then! We’re getting a divorce! And I’m taking the kids!<br/>
Ann, pushing the monopoly board away from them: …maybe we should stop playing.</p><p>-</p><p>Ryuji: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.<br/>
Ren: What did I steal?<br/>
Ryuji, trying not to cry: My heart.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.<br/>
Sumire: Please never become a surgeon.</p><p>-</p><p>Shiho: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!<br/>
Ann: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: You read my diary?!<br/>
Akihiko: At first, I didn’t know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.</p><p>-</p><p>Mitsuru: I am at a loss for words!<br/>
Junpei, telling Minato later: Despite being lost for words, Mitsuru-senpai yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: If I run and leap at Partner, he'll catch me in their arms!<br/>
Yosuke: *runs and leaps at Yu*<br/>
Yu, who is holding coffee: *drops the coffee to catch Yosuke*</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: Did Yukiko just tell me she loved me for the first time?<br/>
Yosuke: Yeah.<br/>
Chie: And did I do finger guns back?<br/>
Yosuke: Yeah, you did.</p><p>-</p><p>Futaba: Name one time I haven’t acted professionally.<br/>
Makoto: You’re holding a juice box right now.<br/>
Futaba: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.</p><p>-</p><p>Futaba: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry” on the count of three.<br/>
Futaba: One, two, three.<br/>
Futaba:<br/>
Yusuke:<br/>
Futaba: See, now I’m just disappointed in both of us.</p><p>-</p><p>Mitsuru: Why do you have a diary?<br/>
Akihiko: To keep secrets from my computer.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: You're smiling, did something good happen?<br/>
Goro: I can't smile just because I feel like it?<br/>
Ann: Ryuji tripped and fell in the parking lot.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter 2 featuring B99 quotes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro, to Ren: No hard feelings, but I hate you.<br/>
Goro: Not joking, bye.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: Rules are made to be broken.<br/>
Mitsuru: They are made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.<br/>
Junpei: Uh, piñatas.<br/>
Minato: Glow sticks.<br/>
Junpei: Karate boards.<br/>
Minato: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.</p><p>- </p><p>Naoto: I need someone to fill out a lineup. Would you be scary Kanji?<br/>
Kanji: Oh, I love being Scary Kanji. He says what Regular Kanji is thinking.<br/>
Kanji, in the lineup: THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG! I'M GOING TO MISS THE FARMER'S MARKET!</p><p>-</p><p>Teddie: Oh, wow! Looking good, Rise!<br/>
Rise: Go rot in hell.<br/>
Teddie: Stay foxy.<br/>
Rise: Die lonely.</p><p>-</p><p>Rise: The only thing I'm not good at is modesty.<br/>
Rise: Because I'm great at it. </p><p>-</p><p>Futaba: There is a bomb at this wedding as well.<br/>
Yusuke: What?<br/>
Futaba: Your butt. Your butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors.<br/>
Yusuke, crying: I love you so much, you're my dream girl.<br/>
Futaba: I love you too.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu: Being gay isn't a choice.<br/>
Yu: It's a game and I'm winning.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: Ok, do you recognize any of these men?<br/>
Haru: I was hiding in the bathroom stall, so I didn't see his face. But, I heard him.<br/>
Haru: He was singing along to the music of the bar.<br/>
Goro: Do you remember what he was singing?<br/>
Haru: I think it was that song... "I Want It That Way."<br/>
Goro: Backstreet Boys, I'm familiar. Okay... No. 1, could you sing the opening to "I Want It That Way."<br/>
Ren: Really? Okay.<br/>
Ren, singing: You are... my fire...<br/>
Goro: No. 2, keep going.<br/>
Ryuji, singing with a confused look: The one... desire...<br/>
Goro: No. 3.<br/>
Yosuke, singing with a confused look: Believe... when I say...<br/>
Goro: No. 4.<br/>
Akihiko, singing with a confused look: I want it that way...<br/>
Goro, singing: Tell me why!<br/>
Ren, Ryuji, Yosuke, Akihiko, and Shinji: Ain't nothing but a heartache...<br/>
Goro, singing: Tell me why!<br/>
Ren, Ryuji, Yosuke, Akihiko, and Shinji singing: Ain't nothing but a mistake.<br/>
Goro: Now No. 5!<br/>
Shinjiro, killing the song: I never want to hear you say...<br/>
Goro: Woo!<br/>
Shinjiro, singing: I want it that way...<br/>
Goro: Aww, chills. Literal chills.<br/>
Haru: It was No. 5. No. 5 killed by father.<br/>
Goro: Oh my god, I forgot about that part.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Another one!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren: That's not the idol. Goro must've put it in there. That's not the idol!<br/>
Ryuji: Then what is it?<br/>
Ren: It's a fucking stick!<br/>
Ryuji: I know. It has a face on it, don't worry.</p><p>-</p><p>Rise: Danger Yosuke. Is baseball your sport?<br/>
Yosuke: No, uh, making love is my sport.<br/>
Everyone: *laughs*<br/>
Rise: You play a lot?<br/>
Yosuke: Not often enough.</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: It was to rustle feathers.<br/>
Akihiko: Ruffle feathers.<br/>
Everyone: *visible confusion*<br/>
Akihiko: You said "russel feathers."<br/>
Naoto: Rustle, ruffle, whatever, I don't care.<br/>
Akihiko: Russel is a first name. Ruffle is a-<br/>
Naoto: Rustle. R - U - S - T - L - E. Rustling leaves. You can also rustle feathers.<br/>
Akihiko: Ok.<br/>
Rise: *laughs*</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto, whispering: This vote is not strategic, it's strictly personal.</p><p>-</p><p>Rise: If I could change one thing about this tribe...<br/>
Fuuka: That we could... have cookies?<br/>
Mitsuru, Junpei, Yukari, Minato, and Akihiko: *visible disappointment*</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.<br/>
Shinjiro: You're too hot and I still eat you.<br/>
Akihiko: *blushes*<br/>
Shinjiro: *winks at him*<br/>
Mitsuru: I just want ONE DINNER.</p><p>-</p><p>Kanji: I can feel her undressing me with her eyes.<br/>
Yosuke: I don't know mate, she isn't laughing.</p><p>-</p><p>Chidori: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together.<br/>
Junpei, hiding the key: Truly unfortunate.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: I hate my last name.<br/>
Yu: Why?<br/>
Yosuke: Because it's not your last name *winks*<br/>
Yu:<br/>
Yosuke:<br/>
Yu: Yosuke, we're married, you change your last name a week ago.</p><p>-</p><p>Yukari: I'm quick at math.<br/>
Aigis: Ok, what's 38 times 78?<br/>
Yukari: 24.<br/>
Aigis: That's not even close.<br/>
Yukari: But it was quick.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: I could kill you, Akechi.<br/>
Goro: Yeah? So could another human being.<br/>
Ren:<br/>
Goro: So could a dog.<br/>
Ren:<br/>
Goro: So could a dedicated duck.<br/>
Ren:<br/>
Goro: You aren't special, Amamiya.</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss on the lips. What should I do?<br/>
Chie: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.<br/>
Rise: Tackle him.<br/>
Yosuke: Dump him.<br/>
Yu: Kick him in the chin.<br/>
Kanji: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!</p><p>-</p><p>Futaba: Try to appreciate the little things in life.<br/>
Yusuke: *hugs her*<br/>
Futaba: Seriously?! I'm not even that short!<br/>
Yusuke, whispering: Yes you are.</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: You're losing a lot of blood! What's your type?<br/>
Akihiko: Tall, brunette, muscular, a Persona user.<br/>
Shinjiro, blushing: I meant your blood type!<br/>
Akihiko: *loooks at arm*<br/>
Akihiko: Red.<br/>
Minato: Just let him die.</p><p>-</p><p>Ann: Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!<br/>
Shiho, blushing: Reason 450934 why I love you!<br/>
Ryuji, after witnessing that: Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!<br/>
Ren: No, they're baseball pants because my ass is out of your league.</p><p>-</p><p>Sumire: I request for you to not be a bitch.<br/>
Goro: Request denied.</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko, holding out a door open: Ladies first.<br/>
Ken: FUCK YEAH, I'M A QUEEN.</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: *pulls out a pistol*<br/>
Yukiko: You can't shoot me! You're so drunk you're seeing double!<br/>
Chie: *pulls out another pistol* I got a gun for the both of you.</p><p>-</p><p>[3:00 AM, on the phone]<br/>
Goro, half asleep: Hello?<br/>
Makoto: Hey, Akechi.<br/>
Goro: It’s 3:00 AM, what the fuck do you want?<br/>
Makoto: I saw this challenge on YouTube where they call the devil at 3:00 AM so, I thought that I’d try it myself.<br/>
Goro:<br/>
Goro: Okay now, listen here you little shit.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: I’m thinking of a spring wedding, maybe fall, I don’t want it to be too cold though...<br/>
Yu: We aren’t engaged??<br/>
Yosuke: OHHHHHHH, fuck, THAT'S what I forgot to do on our anniversary.</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: The three of you, explain now.<br/>
Kanji: It was Yosuke.<br/>
Teddie: It was Yosuke.<br/>
Yu: It was Yosuke.<br/>
Yosuke: It was Yosuke.<br/>
Yosuke:<br/>
Yosuke: Fuck.</p><p>-</p><p>Aigis: You should accept your flaws, like me!<br/>
Fuuka: You accepted my flaws?<br/>
Aigis: I accepted yours.</p><p>-</p><p>Haru: I think I'm having a midlife crisis.<br/>
Makoto: You're 17.<br/>
Haru: I could die at 34.</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: What's wrong with you?<br/>
Yosuke: Alphabetically or chronologically?</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko: When I was a kid, I had a crush on a boy in my orphanage, and I didn't know how to deal with it, so I wrote him a note saying "get out of my orphanage."<br/>
Shinjiro: THAT WAS YOU?!</p><p>-</p><p>Chidori: *wears grey*<br/>
Junpei: I see you're bringing out the spring colors.</p><p>-</p><p>Rise: Everyone thinks you two are a couple.<br/>
Yosuke: Incorrect.<br/>
Rise: Everyone, raise your hands if you think Senpai and Yosuke are a couple.<br/>
Yosuke:<br/>
Yosuke: Partner, put your hand down!</p><p>-</p><p>Sumire: Why do you watch murder stuff?<br/>
Goro: Just in case you slip up.<br/>
Sumire: I-</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko: I bet Shinji likes BDSM.<br/>
Ken: What's BDSM?<br/>
Yukari, screaming: BIBLE DISCUSSION AND STUDY MEETINGS!</p><p>-</p><p>Fuuka: I'm not great with kids.<br/>
Minato: You're not great with adults either.</p><p>-</p><p>Morgana: Now that you have my attention.<br/>
Ryuji, playing games: You don't have my attention.<br/>
Morgana: Ren.<br/>
Ryuji, dropping everything: I'm listening.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haru: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party and you're all invited.<br/>
Makoto: "If."<br/>
Goro: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and she might not even die.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: What's the most handsome Partner in the world doing?<br/>
Yu, without looking up from the table: I don't know, how are you?<br/>
Yosuke, voice cracking: I'm fine.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: Did you dream about me?<br/>
Chidori: Yes, it was a nightmare.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: I would like to propose.<br/>
Ryuji: *eyes widen*<br/>
Ren: -an idea.<br/>
Ryuji, disappointed: Oh.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: You can say "Have a nice day" without a problem.<br/>
Goro: But you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours" without it sounding threatening.<br/>
Sumire: You worry me.</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: Well, that was a good meat snack.<br/>
Chie:<br/>
Chie: Time for 7 more!</p><p>-</p><p>Yukari: I'm sorry, I don't talk llama. I'm supposed to talk llama to you.<br/>
Yukari: *incomprehensible llama noises*<br/>
Junpei: *visible confusion*</p><p>-</p><p>Morgana: The Phantom Thieves just wasted a cannonball, they weren't paying attention.<br/>
Goro: Oh please, Morgana.<br/>
Morgana: What's that?<br/>
Goro: I said "oh please."<br/>
Morgana: Goro getting frustrated by me.</p><p>-</p><p>Haru: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn't even sorry.<br/>
Ryuji: No, strength is when you help your mom lift a heavy couch and she buys you Big Bang Burger later.</p><p>-</p><p>Mitsuru: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?<br/>
Shinjiro: Sad.<br/>
Akihiko: Gay.<br/>
Junpei: Sexy.<br/>
Ken: Goblin.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu: Ugh, I hardly couldn't sleep last night.<br/>
Yukiko: When you can't sleep, it means someone is thinking about you!<br/>
Yu: Who would be thinking about me at 3:00 AM?<br/>
Rise: *straight panic*<br/>
Yosuke: *gay panic*</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: So, uh, are we friends now?<br/>
Ren: If we say yes, do you let us live?<br/>
Goro, smiling: Fuck no!</p><p>-</p><p>Shiho: Hey, what's friends with benefits?<br/>
Ann: Uh... very special friends...<br/>
Shiho: So, like us?<br/>
Ann: *lesbian panic*</p><p>-</p><p>[Yosuke and Ryuji prepare to battle]<br/>
Yu: Win this for the Investigation Team!<br/>
Yosuke: For the Investigation Team!!<br/>
Ren: Win this because I told you.<br/>
Ryuji: BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TO!!</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: I love the term "partner." Are we dating? Are we detectives in a murder case? Are we cowboys? Are we cowboy detective boyfriends? There's no wrong answer.<br/>
Yu: I-</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: Aw, you threw me a surprise birthday party? That's so nice of you!<br/>
Goro: I accidentally put poison gas in one of these balloons, so if you pop them, we might die.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu to Yosuke: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said it was gay.</p><p>-</p><p>Morgana: So, what did the doctors say?<br/>
Yusuke: Well they said I have a lot of internal bleeding, but it's okay because that's where blood is supposed to be.<br/>
Ren: Why are you like this?</p><p>-</p><p>Futaba: Don't talk down to me!<br/>
Goro: It's not like I can talk up to you, you're too short.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: Why are you two looking at me through a fork?<br/>
Makoto and Haru: We're pretending you're in jail.<br/>
Goro: Why?<br/>
Makoto: It's spiritually healing.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: *opens mouth to speak*<br/>
Yukari: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.</p><p>-</p><p>Minako: Am I in trouble?<br/>
Mitsuru: Have a guess.<br/>
Minako: No?<br/>
Mitsuru: Have another guess.</p><p>-</p><p>Rise: Penny for your thoughts?<br/>
Chie: My thoughts are worth more than a penny!<br/>
Yosuke: No, they really aren't.</p><p>-</p><p>Aigis: I averted a murder today.<br/>
Minako: Really? That's amazing! How'd you manage that?<br/>
Aigis: Self-control.<br/>
Ryoji: Help...</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: Would you like a drink?<br/>
Akihiko: What are my options?<br/>
Shinjiro: Yes or no.</p><p>-</p><p>Yusuke: ... What are you doing?<br/>
Futaba, making a summoning circle in the living room: Didn't you tell me to satanize the house?<br/>
Yusuke: I said SANITIZE!</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: Can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?<br/>
Yosuke: *crouches down*<br/>
Kanji: *gets on knees*<br/>
Naoto:<br/>
Naoto: I hope you both die.</p><p>-</p><p>Ryuji: I'm useless.<br/>
Morgana: Nah, you are not.<br/>
Morgana: You can be used as a bad example.</p><p>-</p><p>[Big Brother Veto Ceremony]<br/>
Goro: So, I had a heart-to-heart with myself. Goro, what is the reason? Why are you having such a hard time playing this game?<br/>
Goro: And this is the truth. In season 3, the season that I won, there were a lot of people I hated. And it was easy for me to get motivated and find individuals that I disliked. And it gave me power. It gave me a reason to wanna play, it gave me a reason to wanna win, it gave me a reason to wanna fight. It gave me a reason to wanna remove people from the game.<br/>
Goro: Then I thought, why haven't I had that motivation?<br/>
Goro: And I thought it was because I really liked everyone here. But it was the opposite of that.<br/>
Goro: I can't find an individual to hate, because I hate YOU ALL.</p><p>- </p><p>Mitsuru: I need anyone with a pulse and brain to pitch in.<br/>
Junpei: Hey, Mitsuru-senpai, do you need anything?<br/>
Mitsuru: No, we're good, thanks. In fact, you can leave early.<br/>
Junpei:</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: What's your biggest fear?<br/>
Chidori: Getting attached to others because I'll feel pain when I die.<br/>
Junpei: Wow, that's deep.<br/>
Junpei: Mine's the Kool-Aid Man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.</p><p>-</p><p>Fuuka: Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will".<br/>
Ken: I will I wasn't broke.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: *coughs violently*<br/>
Sumire: Don't die, Akechi-kun!<br/>
Goro: Don't tell me what to do.</p><p>-</p><p>Yusuke: Sweetie, are you getting enough sleep?<br/>
Futaba: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: My head hurts.<br/>
Yosuke: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.</p><p>-</p><p>Ryuji: The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu: I don't have enough energy for this.<br/>
Yosuke: For what?<br/>
Yu: *gestures vaguely*</p><p>-</p><p>Haru, waking up from a deep sleep: Where am I?<br/>
Goro, sarcastically: Heaven.<br/>
Haru: Oh...<br/>
Haru:<br/>
Haru: Didn't think you'd be here.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: When I first met you, I did not like you.<br/>
Makoto: I'm aware of that.<br/>
Goro: But then you and I spent some time together.<br/>
Makoto: And?<br/>
Goro: It did not get better.</p><p>-</p><p>Fuuka: Being 5'3 is so hard sometimes.<br/>
Mitsuru: This is true, I remember being 8 and not being able to reach anything.</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko: Shinji, Why are you late?<br/>
Shinjiro: A technical error occurred causing an unexpectedly long-bought of unconsciousness.<br/>
Akihiko: Overslept?<br/>
Shinjiro: Overslept.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, uh, if you haven't noticed, I'm a huge fan of Survivor and Big Brother, which inspired a few of the quotes here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yukari: Shut up.<br/>Junpei: I didn't say anything-<br/>Yukari: You were thinking. It's annoying.</p><p>-</p><p>Teddie: What're you two fighting about?<br/>Yu: They keep using phrases wrong!<br/>Yosuke: Oh cry me a table!</p><p>-</p><p>Ryuji: FOUR MONTHS.<br/>Ann: What's he talking about?<br/>Ren: C'mon, it was funny-<br/>Ryuji: FOUR MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT.</p><p>-</p><p>Yukiko: How tall are you?<br/>Naoto: Height is a social construct.<br/>Yukiko: So you're short?</p><p>-</p><p>Ryoji: Give me freedom or give me death.<br/>Aigis: *pulls out gun*<br/>Ryoji: NO!<br/>Aigis: I'll give you death, I'm cool with that.</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto: Akechi gave me a 'get better soon' card.<br/>Ann: Aw, that's sweet.<br/>Makoto: I wasn't sick, he just thought that I could do better.</p><p>-</p><p>Fuuka: Words that end in "-ie" are so cute! Like "cutie," "sweetie," "cookie."<br/>Shinjiro: "Die."<br/>Fuuka: No.</p><p>-</p><p>Yusuke: You're violent.<br/>Futaba: Yeah, but I'm short so it's adorable.</p><p>-</p><p>Ann: I'm terrified of the Backstreet Boys.<br/>Shiho: Tell me why-<br/>Ann: *screams*</p><p>-</p><p>Akihiko: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.<br/>Shinjiro: But you DIDN'T!</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: This is cool, but you know what would be cooler?<br/>Haru: What?<br/>Goro: Your death.</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: Hey... can you do me a favor?<br/>Ken: Yeah sure.<br/>Shinjiro: When I die...<br/>Ken: Yeah?<br/>Shinjiro: Can you update my Facebook status saying "Chillin' with Jesus"?</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: I said I was okay! My bones broke my fall!<br/>Takemi: Actually I'm pretty sure they just broke.</p><p>-</p><p>Fuuka: I may be antisocial and unattractive...<br/>Rise: ...But?<br/>Fuuka: That's all.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu: I want someone to take me out.<br/>Yosuke: Like on a date or with a gun?<br/>Yu: Surprise me.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: Chidori says "I love you" weird.<br/>Akihiko: How?<br/>Junpei: Watch this. Chidori, I love you.<br/>Chidori: I'd kill myself for you.</p><p>-</p><p>Teddie: Kanji is ugly.<br/>Kanji: Wha-<br/>Yosuke: Teddie, Kanji isn't a mirror.</p><p>-</p><p>Yukiko, talking to the Phantom Thieves: Excuse me, who is in charge here?<br/>Yusuke: Usually it's whoever yells the loudest.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: If I cut off my leg and swing it at your head, am I hitting you or kicking you?<br/>Sumire: You'll probably end up mentally scarring me more than anything.</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto: Y-...You've killed me..<br/>Goro: Good.<br/>Haru: WHAT THE-</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: It was so I could be loved.<br/>Ren: Cool motive, still murder.</p><p>-</p><p>Yu *unbuttoning shirt*: God it's so hot in here.<br/>Yosuke: I know that Partner, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?</p><p>-</p><p>Yukiko: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so is baby oil-?<br/>Chie: Can't we just have a nice dinner for once?</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: I have feelings for you.<br/>Kanji: You do?<br/>Naoto: Yes. I feel you're a little annoying.</p><p>-</p><p>Mitsuru: You know those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea-<br/>Akihiko: -And then I ignore you, yeah.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: I have a plan.<br/>Minako: I have the hospital on speed-dial.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: It's nice to be wanted, you know?<br/>Ann: Not by the law!</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mitsuru: Bonjour, Aragaki. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?<br/>
Shinjiro: No, I don't want to sleep with you.<br/>
Mitsuru: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: Ren, we tried things your way.<br/>
Ren: No, we didn't.<br/>
Goro: I did it in my head and it didn't work.</p><p>-</p><p>Minako: Which movie are you and Akihiko going to see tonight?<br/>
Shinjiro: Oh, I always go to whichever movie Aki wants.<br/>
Minako: Which one does he want to see?<br/>
Shinjiro: I haven't decided yet.</p><p>-</p><p>Yukari: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego.<br/>
Yukari: My Facebook photo is a landscape.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: Are you sure Ryuji's even gay? He barely even looked at me.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.<br/>
Chie: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.</p><p>-</p><p>Yosuke: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.<br/>
Goro: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.<br/>
Futaba: We could attack them with hummus.<br/>
Makoto: I stand corrected.<br/>
Futaba: Just keeping things in perspective.</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: *Answers phone.* Hello?<br/>
Yosuke: It's Yosuke.<br/>
Naoto: What did Teddie do this time?<br/>
Yosuke: No, it's me, Yosuke. It's actually me.<br/>
Naoto: What did you do this time?</p><p>-</p><p>*Ren and Ryuji are in Paris.*<br/>
Ryuji: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?<br/>
Ren: But...<br/>
Ryuji: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...<br/>
Ren: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?<br/>
Ryuji: Yeah.<br/>
Ren: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.<br/>
Ryuji: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.<br/>
Ren: Okay, alright.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: Damn, Makoto, are you secretly cool?<br/>
Makoto: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.<br/>
Goro: I do not.</p><p>-</p><p>Kanji: Who the fuck--<br/>
Naoto: Language!<br/>
Kanji: Whom the fuck--<br/>
Naoto: No.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ken: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.</p><p>-</p><p>Morgana: How many kids do you have?<br/>Makoto: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.<br/>Fuuka, drinking toast: Why do you say that?</p><p>-</p><p>Yu, addressing the Investigation Team: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.<br/>Yukiko: But – that’s just a trash can.<br/>Yu: It sure is!</p><p>-</p><p>Yusuke: You often use humor to deflect trauma.<br/>Goro: Thank you.<br/>Yusuke: I didn't say that was a good thing.<br/>Goro: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: We need to get through this locked door. Kirijo, give me your credit card.<br/>Kirijo: Here.<br/>Shinjiro, pocketing it: Thanks. Aki, kick down the door.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: I think we're missing something.<br/>Ryuji: Teamwork?<br/>Ann: Cohesion?<br/>Morgana: A general sense of what we’re doing?</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei, Yosuke, and Ryuji are sitting on a bench.<br/>Minako: Why do you guys look so sad?<br/>Junpei: Sit down with us so we can tell you.<br/>*Minako sits down*<br/>Yosuke: The bench is freshly painted.</p><p>-</p><p>Makoto: Is stabbing someone immoral?<br/>Haru: Not if they consent to it.<br/>Goro: Depends who you’re stabbing.<br/>Ann: YES?!?</p><p>-</p><p>*Ren and Ryuji sitting in jail together*<br/>Ren: So who should we call?<br/>Ryuji: I’d call Makoto, but I feel safer in jail.</p><p>-</p><p>Yukari, whispering to Junpei, who’s on the phone with Chidori: Ask her something!<br/>Junpei: How are you feeling?<br/>Chidori: Fine.<br/>Yukari: Something personal!<br/>Junpei: At what age did you first get your period?</p><p>-</p><p>Teddie: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.<br/>Yu: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?<br/>Teddie: Yes!<br/>Yosuke: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.</p><p>-</p><p>Mitsuru: You know those things will kill you, right?<br/>Goro, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.<br/>Shinjiro, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.<br/>Futaba: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*</p><p>-</p><p>Teddie: Truth or dare?<br/>Yu: Dare.<br/>Teddie: I dare you to kiss the most bear-tiful person in the room.<br/>Yu: Hey, Rise?<br/>Rise, blushing: Yeah?<br/>Yu: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Yosuke.</p><p>-</p><p>Ren: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.<br/>Futaba: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!<br/>Ann: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!<br/>Ryuji: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!<br/>Goro: My moral code, is that you?<br/>Ren:<br/>Ren: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?</p><p>-</p><p>Naoto: You kidnapped Rise? That’s illegal!<br/>Yosuke: But Naoto, what’s more illegal? Briefly, inconveniencing Risette, or destroying our dreams?<br/>Naoto: Kidnapping Rise, Yosuke!!!<br/>Yu: Naoto, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!<br/>Naoto: What, to kidnap people?!?!<br/>Yu: To work together!<br/>Naoto: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!<br/>Kanji: Naoto, we all agreed a celebrity is not a person.</p><p>-</p><p>Chie: What’s something you guys are better than Narukami at?<br/>Kanji: Mario Kart.<br/>Teddie: Yeah, video games.<br/>Yosuke: Emotional vulnerability.</p><p>-</p><p>Shinjiro: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?<br/>Akihiko: Oh, I’m always running.<br/>Akihiko: The question is from what.</p><p>-</p><p>Goro: You kill Shadows for money?!<br/>Ren: I can explain!<br/>Goro: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chum.</p><p>-</p><p>Junpei: Bad things keep happening to me like I have bad luck or something.<br/>Chidori: Junpei, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is that you're a dumbass.</p>
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